Secrets
by Spoot Poot
Summary: Envy has a secret. Read to find out what it is. Oh, and hey, I might do chapters for this. So please review, if you want me to do more! BTW: NOT A YAOI! NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! I LOVE YAOI!
1. Board Games

Spoot: well, time for a new one!

Ed: you do realize that this makes 60 so far!

Spoot: O.o no kidding! you're right! ok, this one will be special!

Secrets

He was the one people turned to when you wanted a tough job done right. He was the one you called when it took something special. Something hanis. He was the one that could do it without hesitation. But He had a secret...a big one...He wasn't evil. He wasn't the bad guy everyone thought he was. and all He wanted, was to be loved, and to have a friend. He was envious of others who had these things mentioned. and because of that, He was given the name of The little Green Monster. Envy.

"I got it! what if we burn him!" Snapped Greed.

"No, no! Bury him alive!" Snapped Lust.

"EAT HIM!" Shouted Gluttony.

Envy was sitting on a pile of old rubble, brooding away, trying not to listen to his "Family" plot over revenge for one short little Elric brother. They couldn't kill him. That would ruin plans and make Father MAD! But they could pretend. Envy did not like this game. He didn't really care. Sure Edward Elric pummeled him on numerous occasions. But oddly enough, he admired the little guy, for perseverance. Edward Elric was pretty admirable, so Envy thought. Plus, he didn't want to think about killing the closest thing he had to a friend.

Envy got off the rubble, and made his way to the other side of the room, where the door was. "What do you think we should do to him?" Asked Greed, taking Envy by surprize. He turned. "Huh? Oh...I dunno...I don't really care. Step on him?" Lust smiled, "Oh really? that wont kill him." She said. Envy sighed. "I don't care..." He said, exiting the hide out. Lust looked over at Greed, who shrugged.

"What are you doing here?" Ed growled. Envy was walking up to him, hands in his pocket, eyes at the floor. Ed was standing in a small grave yard. He looked irate. Envy looked up, and smiled. "They're planning to burn you...or...bury you...something." He said. Ed looked shocked. "Do you realize where we are...and whos here with us!" He snapped. Envy just looked puzzled.

"BROTHER! LOOK OUT!" Al shouted, pouncing on The little homunculi. Ed gasped. Envy went down, and Al began to pound on him. Ed had no idea what to do, so he just stood there, and let this go on. "Don't just stand there! Help me!" Shouted Al. "OH RIGHT!" Ed snapped, he then ran in an opposite direction, leaving Al in a stupor, as always.

"I don't understand you!" Al snapped. He was lecturing Ed. The little guy was sitting on the sofa, being put through the ringer. "I mean, I ask for your help, and what do you do! RUN OFF! I could have been hurt! I could have been killed! And you just RUN OFF! You do that all the time Brother! ALL THE TIME! What is with you!" Ed tuned him out long enough to think about a few things, then he came back to reality.

"Al, I gotta tell you something..."

Al stopped talking, mid sentence. He calmed down, putting his thrusting fist to his side. "Hmm? What is it Brother?"

"Sit down..." Ed said, gesturing to a chair. Al sat on the floor. Ed smiled, then took a deep breath. "Ok, I don't want you to attack Envy anymore, when he's alone." Al looked confused. "What are you talking about brother?" Ed sat on the floor in front of Al. "I don't want you to attack him anymore."

"But why?"

"He's...my...friend."

It was quiet for a long time...a VERY long time...then in a fit of rage, Al screamed and punched Ed into the air.

Ed was caressing his cheek. He was looking at Al though blackened eyes. Al was pacing around the room. "YOUR FRIEND! FRIENDS! YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS!?" Ed stopped rubbing his cheek. "I know it seems crazy, but he's not as bad as everyone thinks, he's just trapped. He's on our side!" Al looked over at him in awe. "When did all this happen?!"

"Well...right around the first time we had to deal with him..."

"Oh, so you just decided then and there that he was a goodie, and you wanted to be friends!"

"Well, not right away...Al would you sit down...Eh, it was around the time that we got trapped together in Glutton's belly...Ling was there with us, made friends with him too."

Al just looked on in a state of shock. "I don't know how to explain it. He doesn't really want to hurt anyone. He's just conditioned to do as he's told. Thats all. If you just talk to him, you'll see!" Al plopped down on the floor. "Are you kidding me?" Ed shook his head. Al sighed, and stood up. "Alright, Brother...I'll play along."

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING OUT THERE!" Shouted Lust. She was Berating Envy, he was looking ashamed, down at the floor. She slapped him hard. "Were you PLAYING With them! look what he did to you! What were you doing out there ALONE!" Lust snapped, Slapping Envy again. Envy shot her a hateful look. "You're really mean! you know that!" He yelled. She smiled, coyly. "You think so?" She placed a hand on her chin. "Hmm, Thats sweet of you to say..." The calm did not last long, for suspicion took hold over Lust. She looked over at Envy with a suspecting gaze. All he did was giggle sheepishly.

"What are we doing here?" Al asked, looking around all the rubble. Ed was inspecting the crumbled transmutation circle statue. "Hmm, He's usually here..." He said, Then he heard a noise from behind the statue. "It's just me, don't shoot." Came Envy's voice. He stepped out from behind the rubble. Almost immediately, he became frightened by Al's presence.

"Its ok, Its ok! I told him!" Ed Said, holding his hands up in surrender, hopefully to calm Envy. Envy looked over at Ed, a bit upset. "I thought you were gunna ambush me!" Al was in an honest state of awe. Ed had tamed a Homunculi, a feat no one could accomplish. Typical Ed, really...Typical. Of coarse Ed could tame him. For sure he could make friends with him. He had a heart that could tame the fiercest of foes.

Envy walked over to a rock, and sat down. "So. What are you doing here?" He asked. Ed sat down as well, and Clapped his hands together, and placed them on the ground, making a table out of stone. "Figured, a game, maybe some tea. I honestly want you to get to know Al a bit better." Envy nodded.

Was this really happening? The three of them, sitting around. Chit chatting over a board game? If you would have told Al he was gunna be playing a game with Envy, he would have shoved you into his armor, and jumped up and down until you vomited. There was no way he would have never believed you.

"So, I have something to tell you...but you can't get mad...BECAUSE...Its not my fault!" Envy said suddenly. Ed looked up from the game. "What did you do!" Snapped Al. "Al, remember, he's not the bad guy..." Ed scolded. Envy smiled. "Thank you..." He said, then looked over at Al. "The others may be suspicious of us. I didn't tell them, but, Lust has an eye..."

"She has two." Ed joked, making Envy laugh. "Really, She has three..." He said. Al was shocked. "Did you just give out information!" He said. Envy looked over at him. "Hmm? Yeah, I'll tell you whatever you wanna know!"

"I told you Al!" Ed said, handing over a game peace to Envy, who took it. "So, what do we do about her?" Ed finished. "Well," Envy started, taking a card from its little box. "I know she hasn't figured out that we're friends. But she knows I'm being sneaky...well, more than usual...move back a space Elric, I stole your space."

Ed's mouth dropped open. "RUDE! fine, I'll move back." He did as he was told, then looked over at Al. "Why don't you play with us?" Al looked on in confusion. "I have never seen this game before..." He said. Envy looked smug. "We made it up!" he said, proud of himself. "Well, I don't know how to play."

"You make it up as you go along, watch this..." Ed turned to Envy. "I WIN!" He snapped, making Envy's mouth drop. "AHHH! FINE!" He said, shooting up. "Don't get crazy!" Ed snapped, standing up. Al got himself ready for a fight. Envy charged at Ed, and The two went down, laughing as they wrestled. Leaving Al confused, once again.

"Where were you?" Greed asked. He was watching Envy enter the hide out. He was covered in dirt and grime. "you weren't out alone again, were you? fighting with those Elrics?" Envy passed him, shaking his head. "Because You know, Lust will be mad." Envy nodded, as he sat on his pile of rubble. "I know, I know. I was just out...and I was attacked by that Mustang...but don't worry, I took care of him, so don't worry about it. Ok." Greed grumbled, and frowned. "Hate that over grown torch." he mumbled.

Ed and Al rushed into the Colonels office, he was in the middle of trying to hold off a fat homunculus! "Crap! what the hell is going on in here!" Shouted Ed. "WE WERE HAVING TEA! JOIN US, WONT YOU!" Mustang snapped, slamming Gluttony to the ground. Ed looked up at Al. "Trusted you." He said, though his teeth. Al looked confused. He had not actually told anyone anything.

Ed, Al, and Roy got Gluttony subdued, and were sitting now, to talk. "I understand, that the cable thing worked once before, but we saw what happened there." Roy said. Ed was glaring at Al. "Guys...hello?" Ed snapped back, and looked over at Roy. "Yeah, he'll hold, don't worry..huh?" Al was leaning over and trying to whisper in his ear. "I didn't tell anyone anything, honest..." He whispered. Ed looked over at him. "Really?" he asked. Al nodded. "Sorry." Ed whispered.

Envy had his eyes on the ground. "I'm sorry, I told them not to worry about it. But, I guess that was too much like right." He was saying. Al was standing over him, with his arms crossed. Ed was pacing back and forth, but stopped. "Al, dont do that to him, he gets enough of that from them!" He finished his statement, and began to pace again.

Al looked down at Envy. He did look scared, and extremely sorry. Was he really abused where he came from? but wasn't he this giant green crazy monster? couldn't he just eat every one? Or was it that he couldn't go against the "Family." Yeah, he thought about Envy "Bucking Up" to anyone in that family...and having Pride to contend with. He shuddered at the thought. Envy was just a little guy. Al sat down. "I'm sorry, Envy." He said.

Envy kept his eyes on the ground. "Well, let me make it up to you. Are you hungry?" Ed stopped pacing again, and looked over at the two. Envy looked up into Al's eyes. "I don't eat." He said softly. Al lowered his eyes. "Do you sleep? can you feel?" Envy sat down with a huff. "No..." He said lazily. Al looked over at Ed, Shock all over his face. He shot up. "MY GOD! I'M A HOMUNCULI!"

"No you're not! you can't be! you're not a perfectly formed miniature human being...If anything Ed is a homunculi!" Snapped looked over at him with a frown. "Who are you calling miniature!" He snapped. Envy laughed. "To be fair, I also called you perfect." Ed squeaked. "And, he also called himself miniature." Said Al. Envy and Ed both put their hands on their hips and looked on at Al in anger. Al laughed. "You two are waaaay too alike!"

Spoot: I think I'll stop here, however...if I get some reviews, I'll make a chapter!

Ed: Should you continue?

Spoot: BUM BUM BUM!

Ed: Ugh...

Spoot: at least 3 reviews, telling me to continue! and I will! You know what to do!


	2. Dressing Up

Spoot: Well, you guys wanted it!

Envy: Thank you Purple Cow!

Spoot: Yes! Thank you!

Secrets, Part Doux!

Envy burst into the Ally way with the weirdest look on his face. He was stressed and out of breath. Ed and Al were set up to meet him there at the time that it was. Ed looked over at his little buddy with a laugh. "Whats wrong?" asked Al. Envy propped himself up on the wall, trying to catch his breath. "She...*huff* She...*huff*"

"Spit it out man!" Ed snapped.

Envy took a deep breath, and stood up right. "She's been following me!" He said. Ed looked puzzled, Al looked worried. "Who? Lust?" He asked, Envy nodded. "WELL, DID SHE FOLLOW YOU HERE!" Shouted Ed, Envy shook his head. "I lost her around the block..." Ed heard the clicking of High heels first, Then Envy. "Oh no! She's coming! I can smell her!" he snapped.

Ed panicked, But Al remained calm, placing a hand on Envy's shoulder. "I have an idea...but it might be a bit awkward..." He said. Envy looked up at him with worry. "Stuff him in your armor!" Ed shouted. Al looked over at him with a smile. "That's what I had planned!" He said, then looked down at Envy, who looked worried.

Lust stepped into an ally way, and spotted the Elric brothers. They were wobbling back and forth on their heels, whistling. "Oh hey Babs!" Ed said, waving at the women. Lust frowned. She hated when that pipsqueak called her that. "I hate to ask this, but have the two of you seen Envy...He seems to be up to something lately..." Ed shook his head.

Envy was stuffed down in a dark place. Its smelled like cat food. He looked up, in the dim lighting, he could see something written on the inside of the armor. Was that a blood seal? These people trusted him enough to basically show him this secret. He listened intently as Ed and Al argued with Lust about the some women named Babs. He shook his head. Who was Babs? some dust must have gotten kicked up, because it was entering the Armor, making him sneeze.

Lust looked confused for a moment. "Was that you?" She asked, pointing at Al. He nodded. "I thought you were a ghost!" She snapped. Ed looked over at Al with his mouth open. "Are you just gunna take that crap from her!"

Things sounded like they were heating up out there! If they got into it, he would surely be discovered. He couldn't let this happen. He would surely get strung up and beat for this! He had to do something. He looked around in the darkness, as if he would find something.

Al was yelling at Envy when all of a sudden, it appeared that he threw up...a cat. The cat, frightened, ran as fast as it could. Al covered his mouth. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" Shouted Lust. Ed looked ready to die laughing. "It...it's a condition!" Shouted Al. Lust almost laughed. "You boys are too much, look, if you see Envy, send him our way..." She said, waving a hand of dismissal, and walking away!

"That was a close one..." Ed said, he was watching Al pull Envy out of himself. "Yeah it was! Ah, question...why did you have a cat in your butt?" Al laughed. "He has this thing about cats, yeah, I don't get it either..." Ed said, shrugging.

"I know your secret..." Envy was met at the door by Lust, he nearly bumped into her. She spoke with a slight chuckle. "You...do?" He asked with a gulp. She smiled. "I'm sure I do! you keep sneaking off...and I found a rubber band in one of your pockets...and you smell like a human! you have a romantic interest! DON'T YOU! come on...don't be shy! after all, I'm Lust! I should know all about this women you're seeing!"

Envy looked in absolute shock. A WOMEN FRIEND! HAAA! He laughed. "I don't have a girl friend..." He said, the regretted that. He should have just stuck with it. "Oh? Really? Then explain the Smell, and the hair tie...and the sneaking around!" Envy could not. He just stood there in shock, his mouth a gape.

"whatdoIdowhatdoIdo...WHAT...DO...I...DOOO!" Envy shouted. Ed was waving his hands around trying to make him shut up. Al was pacing around the ally. "She thinks I have a lady friend, Or something! How do I explain myself!" Ed shrugged, and went to speak, when Al snapped his fingers. "Can you get her to follow you again?"

Envy nodded. "That's her favorite thing to do!" He said. Al walked over to him, and placed his hands on the other boys shoulders. "I have a plan. It wont be easy, but we'll need her to follow you. I'll explain the rest of the plan when the first part is executed." Envy nodded. "He's good with the plans Envy, you'll see!" Said Ed.

Envy looked around the hide out. Where was Lust? She never leaves. He needed her to notice he was being sneaky! Gluttony walked over to him with a big smile. "You wanna play?" He asked. "No..." Envy said, trying to push the tub of lard away. "Please Envy!" He asked again. "Beat it Doofus!" He snapped, shoving Glut. "Lust says you have a lady." He said, picking himself up off the floor.

Envy shot him an angry look. "Speaking of that bimbo, have you seen her?" He asked. Gluttony shook his head, and looked around for a moment. "The last time I saw her, she was with Father. But now I don't know where she is...Why?" He asked. Envy shook his head. "Its none of your business. Just tell me when you see her!" He looked passed the fat man, and spotted Greed.

"Have you seen Lust?" He asked, slipping his hands in his pockets, he was trying to seem casual. Greed looked over at him. "You bet, she's on her way here. Why?" He asked. Envy shook his head. "None ya...Oooh, there she is!" He snapped, hiding behind Greed. Lust spotted him. "Hmm? Why are you hiding? Is there something I should know?" She asked, placing a hand on Greed's shoulder, then promptly flinging him across the room. you would think that would be a bad thing, but to Greed, it was fun!

"I was just stepping out, no need for concern ..just taking a walk..." He said, trying to get passed her. "Don't come looking for me, I'm fine..." He left the hide out. Lust placed a hand on her chin, then looked over at Greed. "you, follow him!" Green Stood fast, and saluted.

Envy skid into the ally way. Both boys were there. "Ok,I think she's following me...what now!?" He asked. Ed looked up at Al, then back at Envy. Al reached into his armor, then pulled out a pink dress. "It should fit you, and I borrowed some face stuff from Winry." Envy's face was gray, and frozen in a permanent state of OMG!

"you need to mock her too. Lust that is, This will work!" said Al. Envy did not move. Al and Ed jumped him, and fought with him until they got the pink dress on his body. Then Al, of all people, put the make up on his face. He sat there, with his face all painted up, and his little pink dress... "I hate you guys...you know that right..." He said. Foot steps could be heard coming closer.

"OOOH, I'm soooooo...uh...I'm Lust...and I'm so pretty!" His voice as high as he could get it. He was standing on his tip toes, with his hands on his hips, walking around. "Mmmmh, oh yeah...the prettiest girl in all of Amestres! Oooh..." Greed stood there, in the mouth of the ally way, in shock. he couldn't stop himself from blinking. duh hell...was going on? Was this his big secret? He dressed like a women, and pretended to be Lust. Was this really something that women wanted to know about?

Confused and conflicted, Greed turned around, and walked away. Envy looked over at Ed, who was laughing behind his hand, from his hiding place behind some boxes. "Shut...up..." Envy snapped. Ed Busted out the fit of laughter. Envy looked over at Al who was standing at the other end of the ally way now. he too laughed. "I wont say I regret this...but I both Rue, and lament it..." Envy said, wiping his face. He too, laughed.

Spoot: I laughed so hard writing this!

Envy: The cat! AAAHAHAHAHAH!


End file.
